Funny
General
For Women
For Men
For Gays
For Lesbians

Do you believe in love at first sight...or do I have to walk by again?

There's a gap in your life! Mind if I fill it!

I'm not Fred Flintstone but i can make your bedrock!

Wanna play Pearl Harbor? That's where I lay down and you blow the hell out of me.

Hey let's go fuck and do the talking later.

Girl, how long have you been in the oven, cause I know I felt something rising.

Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?

Here's 10p ring home and tell your mum that you wont be coming home tonight!

I'm new in town, can you give me directions to your flat?

Your daddy must have been a hunter because you're a fox!

Hey, is your dad a terrorist? Cos baby, you're the bomb!

Do you want to go and do what I'm going to tell my mates we did anyway?

I looked up sexy in the dictionary today and your name was listed

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

Is it hot in here or is it you?

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

I hope you know CPR, 'cause you take my breath away.

My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.

Get your coat love, you've pulled.

I didn't believe in angels until I meet you!

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

You are so hot, its girls like you that are the real reason for global warming

Hi, how do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or fertilized?

Hi, my name's Richard, will you be my Pretty Woman?

Have you ever been to the moon ? no ! sit on my rocket and I will take you there

If its cash your after drop your drawers and the moneys yours

Was you father a cement mixer? Because you sure make me hard.

Can you fix watches? Then put 2 hands on that!

I'm like Domino's Pizza, if you don't come in 30 minutes the next one is free...

You're like a Pringles. Once I pop you, I can't stop you!

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

Do you like jewelry? Suck this, it's a gem!

You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

do u believe in love at first site or do i have to walk by again

if i said u had a hot body would u hold it against me

My magical watch says you aren't wearing any underwear!

Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast.

"r ur legs tired"? coz uve been runnin through my mined all day

There are 256 bones in your body! Would u like another?

if i cood re arrange da alphabet i wood put u and i together

ive lost my teddy bear.......do u want to sleep with me tonight?

is youre father a robber ? well who stole the stars and put them in ure eyes ?

U gotta B a parking ticket or something coz u got the word FINE written All over ya!

im no fred flintstone but i'll make ur bedrock

I seemed to of lost my number, any chance i could have yours?

Do you believe in love at first sight? or do you think i should walk past again?

I bet your last name must be Jacobs? because I think your a real cracker.

Are you a parking ticket? because you have fine written all over you!

Your name must be Gillette? the best a man can get.

If I could arrange the alphabet I'll put U and I together.

Pick a number between 1 n 10 (3) sorry you lost, you'll have to take off all your clothes.

If you were my homework I'd be doing you rite now all over my desk!

Do you know what'd look fantastic on you?.....ME

Are your legs hurting cos you've been running threw my mind all night long.

Hi I was just curious cuz I saw you noticing me so I'm just given you a notice that I noticed you after you noticed me.

If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard.

Do you like raisins? well how about a date then?

I may not be Fred Flintstone but I know i could make your BedRock.

Are those trousers made out of Space Shuttle tiles because your ass is out of this world!

Is their an airport around here? because my heart is taking off.

Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? NO! Answer Me Neith er but it breaks the ice.

GRAB YOUR COAT, YOU HAVE PULLED

If you were a lolly I would be licking you all night!

I may not be the best looking lad here, but hey I'm the only one talking to you!

If you were a bogie I would pick you first.

You'll do!

I bet I could beat you at football. [No way.] Give me the ball and you tackle.

Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.

Do you have a Band-Aid? I hurt my knee when I fell for you.

I may not be Wilma Flintstone, but I know I can make your BedRock.

Is your name Gillette? the best a woman can get.

Do these look real?

Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

Reach for the back of their shirt and look at the tag, then say: Just what I thought, made in Heaven.

You know, sweetie, my lips won't just kiss themselves.

You are the hottest thing since sunburn.

I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?

Just say Hi You'll do!

How was heaven when you left.

Is your dad an alien because their is nothing else like you in this world!

Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.

The only thing I want between our relationship is latex!

Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.

"You look like my first wife" "Really? How many times have you been married?" "Oh I'm still a bachelor"

"I know why Soloman had 600 wives, because he never found you."

Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes!

You look like the type of guy/girl who's heard every line in the book...so what's one more?

Is it hot in here or is it you?

Screw me if I'm wrong, but you want to kiss me don't you?

Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.

Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.

As she's leaving.......Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me!

Didn't I used to always pull on your ponytail in grammar school?

What's your favourite colour?

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

Excuse me, do you mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face for my dreams.

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

I'm not looking for a relationship, I'm looking for an experience.

Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.

If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

Do you sleep on your stomach? If not, can I?

I know milk does a body good, but DAMN...How much have you been drinking?

Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?

I like maths. You want to go to my room, add the bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply?

I'm new in town, could I have directions to your apartment.

If you were a pair of pants I'd wear you out!!

I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Do you believe in love at first sight...or do I have to walk by again?

"I want to check your shirt label to see if you were made in heaven."

If you are what you eat, I could be you by morning.

I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?

I'm a great swimmer can I demonstrate the breast stroke

Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?

Ever slept in a $1000 bed? Do you want to?

I think you look realy fit in that!

Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?

I wish you were a door..... [Why?] So I can slam you all day long!

Your place or mine?

Oh my God! I think I love you! Now lay down!

Mean people suck, nice people swallow. I'm nice.

I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.

Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under...

Will you go home with me tonight.

You know, sweetie, my lips won't just kiss themselves.

I ran out of Viagra. Can I use you?